I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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