He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
