You can't motorboat a personality
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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