This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened