all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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