I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
