Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
