ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
