Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
