just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
