On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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