You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
