There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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