I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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