in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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