party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
