If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
