You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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