she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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