you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
