found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
