They should really pass out barf bags in church
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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