i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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