my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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