i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
