so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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