went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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