they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
