Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize