my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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