Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
