As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
