I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
