I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
