Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
