If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
