the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
