You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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