I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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