Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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