Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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