nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
