I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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