well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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