if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
