i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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