You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
