guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
