The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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