he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
