how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
