I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
