FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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