I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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