I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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