please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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