she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
